I’ve decided to not be offended!

I’ve been playing around with a few thoughts lately…and I’m so happy to have married a thinker and talker who can give me some perspective and good material! (thanks D!)

During one of our recent conversations, Derrick pressed me to think about the difference between “bad” and “annoying.” Is leaving clothes on the floor “bad” or “annoying”? (good argument from him, huh?)  If we’re not careful (in a marriage or any other relationship with people), we can make what is annoying turn into something that is bad. But it helps to pause and ask ourselves which bucket this should be in….and that’s actually something each individual has to decide for themselves. It is based on what you value and what you need.

So in a conversation with a loved one this week, I got annoyed by a little statement or a bit more cavalier attitude than what I would have preferred. If I dwelt on it, it could have turned into something to make me mad, not just annoyed. How dare she say that to me? Of course, I knew that, but I wanted to share my thoughts with her.  The statement could have made me mad, but it really was just annoying.

As I processed my feelings, I decided right then NOT to be offended. How freeing! I can choose not to be offended.  I can treat an annoyance as an annoyance–like a fly buzzing around me, not biting me–it‘s just in my space. When I swat it away, it usually goes to find another location. I want to swat my annoyances away…and go off and not be offended. Not give it a second thought (like I do that fly).

When something bad is done, I am hurt and wounded…and need to deal with that in a healthy way: think about why I am hurt, discuss with the perpetrator, and in some instances, decide I can’t put myself in that position again…so I need to avoid that person.

But those are extreme cases..and I choose not to let annoyances turn into hurt and take up too much of my space reserved for happiness. I’m pressing the fly swatter and brushing annoyances off. I want to live unoffended and in peace. It’s my decision and I like it!